Rhinoplasty Scam Revealed!!

NOTE: we were originally going to call this article “Plastic Surgery Cowboys” but felt that with the release of Brokeback Mountain it may mislead people into thinking we were doing a piece on gays from backwards redneck towns in America with bizarre sex-toy fetishes. However to avoid any confusion we would like to clear up that we’ll be bringing that to you in the next month or so.

Today we uncover a scam involving plastic surgeons that are sending their patients back into the world having received NO SURGERY WHATSOEVER and a few thousand pounds worse off. Despite having received no treatment, these people are happy with the service and would willingly recommend their friends to the same surgeons. As evidence of this we present to you Jodie Marsh.



The other day we were looking at pictures of the lovely Ms. Marsh and noticed that above her fantastic boobies there was a head. Once the initial shock of this discovery had worn off we noticed her nose. Looks a bit, well, ‘wonky’ doesn’t it? We decided to investigate, and immediately discovered that not only does she support plastic surgery, but she has actually ALREADY HAD A NOSE JOB.

There is only one feasible explanation for this. Hypnotism. Plastic Surgeons around the world are employing these mysterious men to convince their patients that their nose / tits / cock is 150% better than it used to be, charging them thousands in the process and sending them back onto the streets. This dirty money is then split between the surgeon and his mesmer-lackey who are quids in. You don’t think Derren Brown can afford those snappy suits on just his TV salary alone, do you?!?

The other (rather far-fetched) option is that somehow her nose looked even more odd before the surgery. We have mocked up a few possibilities….

The Brussels Sprout

Third Ear

The Frankfurter

The Frank Butcher